Hunger Page 10

  That was about the moment she realized he had avoided a very critical question. She had asked him what a feeding was like and he had avoided it completely. She narrowed her gaze on him and considered reopening the topic. However, she was pretty certain that he would find another way of avoiding it, even if she was looking for the trick. Since she knew he was capable of low blows and insults, she’d rather skip the process for the moment. Felice was already feeling like crap. She didn’t need him piling on more reasons why she should think so ill of herself.

  She wasn’t an insecure person by nature, but no one could claim complete immunity from insecure thoughts. After going through her relationship and breakup with her ex, her self-confidence had taken a major beating. It had taken almost a year and a few months of peace before she had begun to regain some self-worth. So it was a recent acquisition. Still, it was strong enough to survive a little of Halo’s abuse. The question was, why would she willingly subject herself to it?

  There was a difference between Halo’s reactive abuse and her ex’s vicious acts. Halo was obviously protecting himself and his race of people. It had clearly been ingrained in him not to speak of all the things he was now discussing with her. Plus, she was hitting an exposed nerve in him, she thought. She was making him feel things he wasn’t used to or didn’t want to feel. She wouldn’t believe he was completely untouched by their interactions. Maybe that was ignorant of her, maybe she was kidding herself, but maybe she wasn’t. She felt that she wasn’t.

  With Michael, it had been all about cruelty for the sake of being cruel. He had had a vicious streak in him and after the first few months, when the façade began to crack, he had begun to introduce her to the downright meanness and viciousness he was capable of. So by the time she was in hot water she had grown used to him in slow increments, had grown used to forgiving him and believing his apologies and feeling sorry for him when he told her what a terrible childhood he’d had. It had all led up to her excusing his behavior time and again.

  Was she doing that now? Making excuses for a jerk and his jerky behavior? Maybe. Halo was very up-front about being a jerk. He didn’t try to hide it. He didn’t try to excuse his behavior. He was honest, which was a far cry from what Michael had been like.

  She saw Michael’s hand in this. Halo didn’t think that he had anything to do with it, but this felt like something he would subject her to without conscience. Sure, it was a bit sophisticated for him, but the cruelty of it spoke to her of her history with him.

  If Michael was on the other side of those cameras with Roth—as odd a pairing as that would seem to be—then he was seeing her react sexually to another man. That wasn’t in his ballpark at all. He wanted her for himself. He wouldn’t tolerate seeing her be touched by another man, especially one as good-looking and sexually dynamic as Halo was. His insecurity wouldn’t allow it. She had learned that was why abusers often lashed out—their own insecurities. Although that wasn’t all there was to it with Michael. He had a cruel streak. A part of him that liked the violence.

  She shuddered thinking of it.

  “Are you cold?” Halo asked, his attention suddenly sharp on her.

  “There’s nothing we can do about it if I am,” she said with a defeated sigh.

  “We could share body warmth. I don’t get cold as easily, and I generate a lot of heat.”

  Hmm. Getting back into close contact with him was both a dangerous and appealing idea. She shook her head however, not trusting herself around him. He had some kind of voodoo to him, a magic that drew her and spellbound her. Maybe it was the mystique of him being a vampire—but she had been drawn to him even before she had known what he was. Or had that just been the hypno? He said it wasn’t, but how did she know for sure?

  “Don’t be a hero,” he said with a frown. “If you’re uncomfortable do something about it.”

  “Putting up with a chill doesn’t make me a hero. Anyway, I’m not cold.”

  “Then what’s the deal?” he asked.

  “I was just thinking about the past. About Michael.”

  “That asshole? What about him?” he asked, his frown deepening.

  “I can’t help but think he’s connected to this in some way. I swear he’s the only one who has it out for me.”

  “Is he jealous? Possessive?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then why put you in a room with a naked man?”

  “It could be that his obsession has evolved. The old ‘if I can’t have you I’m going to kill you’ thing. You said it yourself, if you feed from me too often—”

  “That’s not going to happen! I told you that.”

  “I know. And I believe you. Sort of.” She glanced at him. “You still haven’t told me what a feeding entails. What do you do? Do you bite me on the neck like vampires in fiction do? Or do you just lay hands on me?”

  “I…it’s a bite…on the back of the neck.” He walked over to her and reached down, sliding his hand under her hair and stroking the area where the spine began the curvature to her neck. She couldn’t help it. She shivered again as goosebumps trailed down both of her arms. “The highest concentration of energy and electrical impulses in your body take place in your brain. Since we can’t bite you through your skull we have to be satisfied with the nexus where brain impulse meets spine.”

  “Does it hurt?” she asked, her voice breathy.

  “I won’t lie to you. It does hurt. But only in the beginning. Once the feeding begins, the rush of energy drawing out of your body is almost orgasmic. Pulling all that impulse back up your spine, drawing it out of your brain—the drain is like ecstasy. It’s a sexual high. More so if there’s hypno involved. We can make it seem like you’ve had a wild night of sex or we can make you forget the ecstasy altogether.”

  “Please…don’t make me forget. I want to remember everything about it.”

  “I told you. I’m not feeding from you.”

  “You will. You won’t have a choice. We’ll have to take the risk in order to keep your strength up,” she murmured, soft enough that whatever microphones there were in the room would not pick up her voice. But for all she knew she was sitting right on top of one. That gave her an idea. “We should look for microphones in the room. We’re probably bugged. I’d rather not have us overheard every moment.”

  “Good idea,” he said, sliding his hand from under her hair, looking perplexed at her sudden change in topic. “You can be very practical.”

  “I’m a realist. I’m facing the truth. I’d rather face the truth than candy-coat it so I’ll feel better for a moment.”

  “Michael teach you that?”

  “Michael taught me a lot of things. I had a lot of lessons to learn with him. And I have paid attention to every single one. It’s the only way I’ll keep from repeating the mistakes I made with him.”

  “What other lessons have you learned?” Halo asked as he peered under a lampshade, looking for a bug.

  “The biggest one was to love myself enough to stand up for myself, even if I’m afraid. The next one is to not be afraid.”

  “You can’t control fear.”

  “I guess you’re right. I suppose what I mean is don’t let fear control me.”

  “That’s a good tenet to live by. It happens to be one of my favorites.”

  “I don’t see you being afraid of much,” she said as she reached up to the wall-mounted TV and ran her hand along the back of it where she could reach. He saw her stretching and came to take over, his significant height and reach doing a far better job. A good enough job, in fact, that he came away with a small transmitter and microphone. He held it up in triumph. “Good guess,” he said, admiring her for thinking about checking the TV.

  “I guess. I figured it made sense. Best way to pick up our voices when we were talking to each other.”

  He took her hand in his, crossed the room to the bathroom, and dropped the microphone into the toilet. She reached out and flushed. She then removed her hand from his under the act of w
ashing her hands.

  “Habit,” she said by way of explanation.

  “You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I’d have washed my hands too.”

  “There’s something about this whole setup that makes me want to wash my hands and everything else every five seconds,” she said, yet another chill walking down her spine. This time he put an arm around her and drew her close to his body. He wasn’t kidding about having an intense amount of body heat. It was like snuggling up to a furnace. At first the contrast of her cool body meeting his made her shiver again…or maybe it was from being that close to him after all the highly intense sexual contact they had had. Felice couldn’t tell. She kept her arms crossed over her chest, a sort of physical barrier to keep him slightly at bay—even though they were touching just about everywhere else.

  “Let’s lie down a little while,” he said. “Just until you get warm.”

  “No. I’m fine. Let’s just keep looking.”

  She stepped away from him and instantly missed his warmth. Now she truly was cold. She hadn’t really felt it before, but coming away from all that burning, masculine heat made her feel it more.

  Halo let her go with obvious reluctance in his expression. She began to search the bathroom. He joined in.

  “There has to be one in every room,” she said.

  “My thoughts as well. Although the idea of someone listening to me take a piss is kind of amusing and disgusting.”

  She chuckled softly.

  “So what other lessons have you learned from Michael?” he asked conversationally.

  “Too many to count. It was a period of enormous growth in my life. I’m still feeling the aftereffects of it. It’s like an echo that never ceases…an echo that reaches down deep into every corner of my mind and personality. Sometimes it scares me…makes me worry that he’s still got a hold on me somehow.”

  He stood up from his crouch by the toilet where he had been searching, and with a flip of his hand he tossed another microphone into the toilet. This time he flushed and then washed his hands.

  “He doesn’t have hold of you. You just have awareness,” he said, taking her elbow in hand and leading her out of the bathroom.

  “But we haven’t finished searching in here,” she said. “There could be another.”

  “There isn’t,” he said with confidence. “These microphones are top-of-the-line shit. Bluetooth enabled. You can see it by the little blue light on the tip. When you have something that good you have no need for redundancy.”

  “They might not trust us not to find it like we just did. They might have a backup just in case of that happening.”

  “We’ve already searched the open spaces in the room. They aren’t going to close a microphone in a cabinet or drawer where they can’t hear clearly.”

  He had a point so she relented. “But there are more out here,” she said, looking around the larger room.

  “No doubt,” he agreed. “I wish I could touch those damn cameras. But I can’t reach them. Not even if I took the bed apart and stood on the box spring propped up. These are twelve-foot ceilings. He planned on that.”

  “Why? What does touching the cameras do?”

  He lowered his voice. “Some vampires have the ability to fuck with electronics. I’m one of them.”

  “What about this pulse? Isn’t that the same thing? Doesn’t every vampire have it?”

  “It’s true a pulse can overload electronics, but it’s only temporary. Like a glitch. I’m able to fry them completely, permanently melt the circuitry of the system. I don’t know if he knows I can do it. He could. It could be why the ceilings are so high and the cameras are out of reach.”

  She gawked at him for so long he noticed. He lightly tapped her on her cheek to bring her around. “What?” he asked.

  “Nothing. You’re just really powerful.”

  “Not powerful enough,” he said in a whisper, bending so close to her ear that his lips brushed over its outer shell. She fought back a shudder as heat traveled from his breath and lips down her neck.

  “So do you protect the queen?” she asked, moving away from him and continuing the search for listening devices.

  “In my way. I’m a hunter. I hunt high-profile phants. I suppose that’s protecting her. Her and all other vampires.”

  “That’s rather noble…for you.”

  “Don’t read too much into it. I’m in it for the hunt. I love a good hunt. I love nothing more than taking out one of these sick bastards.”

  “They prey on the weak. You stop them. I call that noble.”

  “Hey, whatever turns you on,” he said with a shrug. “I’m just trying to minimize the damage path.”

  “How long does a hunt usually take you?” she asked curiously.

  He ran a hand over his hair, mussing it up. He clearly found the topic frustrating for some reason. “I’ve maxed out at two weeks. I was about a week and a half into my hunt for Roth. I was closing in on him, I could just feel it.” He grimaced. “I was closer than I realized. While I was hunting him, he was hunting me. It was a stupid mistake. One I won’t be repeating.”

  “You’re being hard on yourself again.”

  “Someone has to be.”

  “I got caught up in this too, remember. I’m just as guilty as you are of not being aware of my surroundings.”

  “The difference is you don’t do it for a living. You don’t eat and breathe being aware of your surroundings. I do.”

  “I refuse to let you brood about it. It’s over. There’s nothing we can do about it except get ourselves out of here.”

  “All right. Tell me something about you.”

  “Why are we always talking about me?”

  “I’m not that interesting.”

  “Ha! I’ll be the judge of that!”

  He went back to searching the room, dropping down onto his back and looking under the near side of the bedframe. Then he thought better of it, stood up, and began to take the bed apart. He didn’t find anything, but he did busy himself propping the frame against the wall and contemplating it. Clearly he was reconsidering his ability to reach the cameras.

  “You think it could hold your weight?” she asked, reading his mind easily.

  “Probably. Although it’s not meant to be used as a ladder so I don’t know. And I don’t know how old it is. It might not be sturdy and new. But the more I look at it the more I can tell I won’t reach. Damn it. If only if was a couple of feet taller.”

  “I could stand on your shoulders. Or sit on them or something.”

  He considered that with a cock of his head. Then he shook it sharply. “It’d never hold both of our weight and I doubt you have the balance and strength needed to pull it off.”

  He was probably right. It wasn’t as though she was a gymnast or anything. She was a chubby store owner who hadn’t worked out a day in her life. His muscle only went so far. He probably couldn’t hold her up anyway.

  “You’re right. I’m pretty much useless in this scenario.”

  “I would think the new you—the post-Michael you—would be less hard on herself,” he said with a frown.

  “I’m being no more or less hard on myself than you are being on yourself.”

  He considered that a moment then nodded. “I guess you’re right. There’s no room in this situation for coulda woulda shouldas.”

  “Exactly. So I’ll stop picking on myself if you’ll stop picking on yourself.”

  “Deal,” he said, reaching out his hand. She took it and was immediately enveloped in calluses and strength. She marveled at how strong he was. She wondered if he had special vampire strength or if he was just like any other super buff guy. She suspected the former. She got the feeling it took effort on his part to keep his strength contained. To bring it down to human levels.

  She shook his hand in a sharp up-and-down pump, then not-so-adroitly wriggled her hand away. It was an obvious and awkward withdrawal that made a glimmer of a frown tease at the edges of his
mouth. He must think she was pulling away out of distaste. On the contrary. Felice pulled away because the draw of him was so overwhelming. She wanted to keep a clear head about things. Every time he got too close she lost her cool head. She started reacting viscerally. Instinctively. She wasn’t sure she should be following those instincts. Especially not given their current situation. He might not mind the eye in the sky, but she did—when she was thinking about it. When he wasn’t muddling her head with his passionate kisses and heated, raw magnetism.

  She moved over to the bedside table and began to fondle the lamp, feeling for a bug. She felt a bump and tugged at it. She held the device up in triumph.

  “Well done,” he said, taking it from her. He disappeared into the bathroom and she heard a flush and then the sound of him washing his hands again. It made her smile for some reason. Even a vampire practiced good hygiene. There was no telling what had touched that toilet handle.

  “Let’s search the other side of the room. I’m thinking it’s the third and final zone. Bed. Chairs. Now table and chairs. The three most likely places we’ll have conversations, not including the bathroom.”

  She nodded in agreement and they began to search the table and chairs. Their food from earlier sat cold on the trays and she wondered how they planned to remove them and feed them again. More gas? She frowned at the thought, thinking what damage that would do to him. It wouldn’t be such great shakes for her either. She imagined being bigger and stronger than she was he would need a stronger dose of gas; what did that mean for her more fragile system?

  Well, she was bound to find out. They clearly didn’t want her dead. She was part of Roth’s plan to seduce Halo over to the dark side of the Force. What was their next step? Sitting and waiting? Waiting for the inevitable? That was what it seemed like.

  “I can’t find anything,” she said with frustration some minutes later.

  “Me either. But it’s here somewhere.”

  She sat down on the floor, dejection running through her, a feeling of defeat washing over her. He seemed to sense it immediately and came over to her.

  “C’mon. Get up. Don’t let it beat you.”